Suit yourself

My college roommate says that I need to write a book of all my weird experiences.  A blog may suffice.

Today I went to an unnamed sporting goods store.  I had waited about 14 months (and through my spending hiatus) to buy a new swim suit.  I am surprised that the Y had not kicked me out yet for public indecency with the saggy bottom and...never mind.  It was bad.

I walk in the store to an employee complaining about working on the phone.  As I peruse the half empty store with broken tiles and decor from 1995, Mr. Complainer approached and asked if he could help me find something.  I told him I wanted a swim suit, which he presented the only rack in the store that had my desired item.  I told him what brands I liked, didn't like...he suggested I not wear the brands I didn't like (thanks).

When I was able to flag down an employee's attention (that zip tie at the front was pretty intriguing), I  was told that the dressing rooms "needed to be nailed back to the floor" and was taken back past the office and back room storage to a dingy bathroom in the corner with a camping chair, pinecone border, cat air freshener, a full length mirror held up with a dumbbell, and a sign on the back of the door helping employees catching other employees stealing.

As I begin to try on all 7 of my suits, suit #2 had a knock at the door.  Since I was using the only restroom (and apparently dressing room) in the place, there were other demands for the facilities.  By #5, I had a man who attempted to barge in on me, and by #7, the knocker from #2 had come to ask me how much longer I was going to be.  I finished, walked through the store with the evidence in my hand of being the one holding up the line and a girl and her mother were beelining toward the bathroom with mom threatening to wet herself.

I offered my embarrassment to an employee, who insisted that I tell her manager because they were "just complaining" when they had informed him of this.  (Since apparently an apparel store does not need a place to try on the apparel.)  While purchasing items from his store, the manager approached me and I had to recount the mortifying tale again.  After an apology, he offered to have a dressing room available the next time I came in.  When I informed him I wasn't returning, Mr. Complainer (who apparently is the manager) offered to let me buy a suit from his store and return it if it doesn't fit.  So let me get this straight, I was completely indecent in your makeshift bathroom while people attempted to walk in on me and you offer me a better experience next time???

So, this gets better.  Because after he walked away, the cashier said she knows what I mean...the men who come in here are creeps and sometimes will pull down their drawers to show her their pant size.  The impromptu dressing room was the reason that they put the lock on the door.  (Um, excuse me???)  She did her best to console me and offer me coupons (which again would require me purchasing items again), but it was a sweet gesture to offer to stand guard the next time I was using their makeshift stall.

After the cashier told me that she personally makes sure that the bathing suits are out year round (because people go swimming at hotels), I begin to wonder if the corporate office knows this place exists.