The sucky and amazing part of growth

The last few days have been really hard. Jonathan told me that he was seeing someone else. My friends all speculate why he told me. Either way, the bottom line is that he seems to have moved in quickly from a relationship that was pretty serious. Of course there are lots of questions I may never have answered, but I will just have to accept that. I was doing really well in recovering from this relationship until the other day, when I felt really emotional. I don't think it was any coincidence that he sent me that text late that night. The last few days have been full of lots of pain and heartache, restless nights, and little appetite. However, I realized that if I truly believe God is good, He has something big planned for me. If I was supposed to break up such a deep relationship with a good guy, I know His plan must me amazing. Today, I really started digging, addressing some deep rooted issues. I realized that I ha unconfessed sin that had really impeded my relationship with God. I realized that I had to get to such a vulnerable point in my life to finally realize that I need Him and that, if I have to get to such a desperate and vulnerable state to realize this, then so be it. I don't know what this means for me long term, but this is requiring me to live out my faith in such a real way, it is scary and still means that I have a lot of growing to do to get me to my next step.

Growing

Wow, I am amazed about how much I am growing in this job and how much I still have to do. In the last month or so, I have learned much about codependency. Now I am learning about anxiety and bipolar disorder. I am so thankful to have learned things little by little.

Please pray for my friend Courtnie. She has a blood clot in her knee and is going home to be hospitalized for a few days. In other blood clot related stories, an acquaintance from college, Annika Dace, died on Sunday suddenly after having a blood clot in her lung at church on Sunday. She was married less than two years. Although her husband knows where she is, it is still difficult for him. Please pray for their families during this time.