Habits

We try to break them.  We try to make them. We try to break bad ones, can have a hard time keeping new ones, but can't stop most of them.

It’s bully sport and it’s open fight;

It will keep you busy both day and night;

For the toughest kind of a game you’ll find

Is to make your body obey your mind.

And you never will know what is meant by grit

Unless there’s something you’ve tried to quit."--On Quitting by Edgar Albert Guest

Confession:  I have never wanted a regular, boring life.  I haven't ever wanted just to settle into a routine and just be happy doing the same thing day in and day out.  Frankly, I'm not wired for that.

There are still some days when I am still amazed at how much I piddle and blow time for no apparent reason.  Old habits die hard.

But after a semester of straddling three part time jobs and having unstructured days only guided by a to-do list, I have had a lot of insight into how I function.  And I have become a little jealous of people who have routines.  I realized how much harder I was working just doing things at a different time of day.  I realized that I was working more than I had to in order to just complete mundane tasks.  I realized how much habits could be a good thing.  They could free up my mind by allowing the monotonous chores to fly on autopilot so I could channel my time, emotions, and energy into things that matter, such as work, new ideas, and friends.  Once I FINALLY figured out a routine, regular bedtimes, and how to work the system, my life became so much easier.  My stress level went down in the mornings and my anxiety got better.  I knew whether I was coming or going.  The are still some days when I am still amazed at how much I piddle and blow time for no apparent reason.  Old habits die hard.  Frankly, giving into mononanty was one of the best things I did.