Getting my rants in clearer view

It seems like everything was coming together really well, that some parts of my life was final coming together, but I have some issues, doors that continue to shut, uncertainty that continues to run through my veins.  I am not completely sure that I am headed in the right direction, that I am ready to begin a new chapter in a few months.  Another new chapter.  Life has been full of changes, sometimes making me a little unsure.

Then it started snowing.  Again.  Really, it isn't the snow that bothered me.  I was just thinking about how much I could get done with a snow day, how I could ride my bike trainer, could finish my grad school application, clean the house, et al.  But I felt something in my stomach.  Anger.  Frustration.  I couldn't figure it out.  Then I thought:  today I had computer issues and couldn't spend half my day doing work, I debated for half my afternoon on whether to hold my 6-9 class, asked my coworkers, thought of alternative assignments, debated on whether this reflected real world scenarios, and ultimately decided to have a shortened class.  To get a text message saying that campus was closing.  It was 4:45.  Ugh.  

Then I lost my debit card in the snow.  It was like finding a needle in a haystack.

I got a Valentine's invite that I'd rather not RSVP.  

I still have work to do because I debated for half the afternoon on my class.

My check engine light keeps coming on.  I spent three Mondays in a row at the car shop.  (That is how I spend my three day weekends.)

My Facebook news feed has blown up for a month with people complaining about the weather.  Pretty sure I know already.

My parents have a mouse in their house.  My mom saw it Sunday morning.  We have been on the lookout ever since.

I couldn't buy last minute things at the store because that is where I discovered I misplaced my debit card.

I thought I gave important papers to someone else.

The hospital wants my old insurance card.  The scanner doesn't work at my parents' and I couldn't find the paper at work to use theirs (see above).

I didn't get in the rest of my workout today because the snow apocalypse engulfed my city.

I still have plantar flaciitus, even with taking time off, doing yoga, rubbing a golf ball under my foot, swimming, and getting a $170 pair of shoes.  (Guilty confession.  I have never paid this much for a pair of shoes.  However, after an hour and a half trip to a speciality store to watch me run on a treadmill and a dozen pairs of the wrong shoes, finding ones that fit right seemed worth every penny.  Please God, let these be the ones.)

I missed the deadline to enroll for benefits with my company.  Partially because of procrastination, a lot because of technology.

I waited for half the day to have someone from IT call me back.  Apparently, I missed an e-mail from one guy asking me if everything was okay now.  Thanks dude.  The issue was getting into my e-mail.

I try hard and work, but somedays it still seems overwhelming.

So here is my gratitude list:

1160.  I am happy for mouse hunters.

1161.  And a phone call finding my debit card.

1162.  A fruitless shopping trip that led to a quick discovery of no debit card.

1163.  An option to put my debit card on temporary suspension.

1164.  Honest patrons and store owners.

1165.  That we aren't going to starve because I didn't get stuff from the store.

1166.  Not having class in the middle of this mess.

1167.  Having an alternative Blackboard assignment already lined up.

1168.  Flexibility in my syllabus to take a class and a half off.

1169.  Having another week to prepare a pretty hefty topic on racism and sexism.

1170.  Now being ahead of the game in studying for my class.

1171.  A campus who prioritized student safety over the obligation to meet for class.

1172.  Not having any accidents this winter so far.

1173.  Living in town with my parents.

1174.  Having a father who takes me on a commute to work. 

1175.  Having a really busy day at work.  Read:  productivity is good.

1176.  Having a boss who cares enough to travel from Bloomington to see me for a few minutes.

1177.  Making it to work safely and on time.

1178.  Getting in a quick morning swim.

1179.  Having time to connect with people.

1180.  Having free weights at home to do a workout if necessary.

1181.  Being able to be flexible, no matter what tomorrow holds.

1182.  That my mom got a hotel in Indy tonight.  (Because that would have been a nasty commute otherwise.)

1183.  Apple nachos.  This was such a hit at the Superbowl party that I didn't get a chance to set them down before 1/3 of them were gone. 

1184.  USPS:  we may be going into debt because of them, but man are they dedicated.

1185.  Fixing problems on my car that could have caused me to be stranded in the snow.

1186.  A telemarketer told me that I sounded really young on the phone.  I will take this as a compliment.

1187.  Facetiming with my sister last night.  Short, but sweet.

1188.  Having enough warm clothes to last me through the winter.

1189. Not having enough time to shop for anything other than running shoes yesterday.

1190.  Okay, so I bought two tri/running tops on clearance too.

1191.  Not getting a chance to spend more money at the store because of my misplaced debit card.

1192. Having a car repair shop nearby.

1193.  Thick lotion for chapped hands.

1194.  Crashing the boys' club at the Superbowl Sufferfest.

I realized that if I could emerge this winter, where the bottom fell out of the thermometer and snow piles created the Midwestern Mt. Everest, then I could be prepared for bigger and better things.  Seriously.  Winter has to end sometime.  Is the pettiness going to be worth it in the spring?