Busted heart

You know, the last few months have been the most challenging and rewarding of my life.  I have had some of the lowest lows and amazing blessings.  I realized that I have have been a cocky, know-it-all who has some serious growing up to do.  It is amazing what happens when the bowels of your heart are opened up and you actually have to deal with who you are.  Like the true, nitty gritty you, not who you want other people to think you are.   I have had to struggle with feelings of loneliness, doubt, insecurity, and wrestled with God to finally come to a place of peace and surrender.  My brokenness has caused me to open myself up to new and different ways of thinking, new challenges, and to realize how badly I was hurt.  As my relationship with the one who created me as developed into a strong, sweet symphony, I also realize how much my relationship could not have worked out because we were both broken, hurting people.  I pray for my ex daily, sometimes hourly as this continual burden about his own spirituality does not cease and look forward to the blessings that have been beyond my control to foresee.