Flashback Friday

Halloween 1995

Flashback Friday

3rd Floor Parrott
Freshman year of college

Probably the most honest blog ever...

This year has been the hardest on record.  I have watched the man I thought I was going to marry and his adorable little son who I thought I was going to co-parent become engaged to someone who I have known for a long time and have to continue a professional relationship with.

I have struggled with feelings of anger, denial, betrayal, confusion, heartache, and confusion about God's divinity.  I had been totally convinced that something was not right, but I had identified early on that I couldn't just suddenly "make" things happen.  I have had to forgive over and over again.

I have learned that I needed to just move on with my life.  I have had so many good things happen to me this year and have been amazed at the blessings that have come from this.  I have grown closer in my relationships with some amazing people, namely, my sister, Kristen.  However, it is hard watching people all around me get married and have children.  It is hard to see how people are moving on with their lives and sometimes I feel as if I have missed out on something.  I have sometimes struggled with God's divinity and not understood why I feel like I am sometimes being punished.  I am a people person.  I enjoy being with people, spending time with them, et al.

I have have been told that I am independent.  I have not learned in some ways to not depend on other people because they can hurt and have a hard time relaying off other people.  I have learned how to be content doing what I want to do and need to do.  This year, and especially recently, have learned to experience pleasure for myself versus relying off other people to entertain me, make me feel better about myself.  

I have learned to be content with little or a lot and have experienced God's peace that it beyond understanding in week where I bombed my class and was completely underprepared for my lecture and have had a crisis almost every day.  However, I am completely at peace and feel really content.  I don't know what the future holds.  I wasn't thinking that I would be single at 28, but I guess that life sometimes has some unexpected turns.  I realize that I have probably be saved from the heartache of being in the wrong relationship.  I live my life with the expectation that good things are to come and that I can't control my whole life and the universe.  So, I do my best every single day, continue to serve others, and live a life of integrity with hopes that someday I will have someone to share it with.

Sometimes, I just need to breathe

I need to stop getting caught up in my own life so much and just take a deep breath.

This year, the third infertile couple I knew just received their newborn baby boy yesterday.  Yay!  For each of these couples, the babies have literally just fallen in their laps.  I guess that it is a good reminder that sometimes there are bigger plans beyond the pain.

I have gotten a few moments in between some of my obligations to take in the foilage and the amazing part of taking the changing of the seasons.  I knew I had to capture it before it was gone.

As fall begins...

Ok, I again have not posted anything for a while.  This is for a few reasons.  Firstly, a smoking laptop battery has rendered that almost useless.  Secondly, no one really wanted to hear me drone on and on abou the difficult parts of my life.  Thirdly, my jobs and marathon training took most of my energy and therefore, I have had the most BORING life for the last month and half...mostly comprised of sleep, running, working, praying, and eating...a lot.

So, here are the highlights of my last few weeks.

I pierced my nose and got to hang out with an incredible friend who listened to me whine and loves me anyway.

I prepared for my marathon.


I got to see one of my best friends from Arizona...twice (refer to previous post for old pics).

Admired owl artwork.



Watched my cousins perform in a lip sync contest.

Painted our house and found a good place for my framed Haiti artwork.


Hung out with my sis.


Got within 45 seconds of qualifying for Boston at the Chicago marathon.


Went junk store shopping and took a walk down memory lane.

Flashback Friday Double shot!

April 2001--My best friends from high school.  We were totally obsessed with taking bathroom pictures.

My first marathon...I thought that this was fitting since I just finished my fourth last week and shaved just under two hours on this time.

P.F. Chang's Rock and Roll Marathon in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe Arizona
January 18, 2009

It was also fitting that my best friend from high school was there and jumped out at me when I crossed the finish line.  Love that girl!
 

Flashback Friday, ok super late, but ya know...still worth the look:)

While employed at my first job, my friends came in and brightened my day.

I got to hang out with one of these awesome chicks this last weekend.  It is still always a good time.